Tips for dealing with difficult people

Let's face it. You are probably dealing with this now or sometime in the recently past. There are many reason why people fall into this category. Regardless of the why, here are a few tips I use routinely to deal with people being well... difficult.  The tips I provide will work personally and professionally.

Out of all my advice this is probably the best that I can give.  Most people being difficult will argue their point because they want someone to see it their way.  It is really hard to argue with a person being positive. 

You should try to be a pillar of positivity. Have you even been in a situation where someone gets tired of being difficult? It happens and being positive can help that person off the difficult path. Subconsciously and consciously positive attitudes affect people.

People like working with positive individuals. Actually, most people gravitate towards positive people. If you had to pick between working on the next project with Positive Phil or Negative Nancy, who would you chose?  You will gain more allies being positive.

Trying to impose your will or making someone do it your way will routinely end in failure. You are dealing with people not animals. Your dog may love taking your orders, but your friend doesn't share that view.

Sometimes its easy to pull and object than push. For example, you are debating an issue with a colleague. They decided to buy a particular car without doing any preparation. Instead saying this a foolish idea you can point out the consequence of an uninformed decision. Some people make uninformed decisions because it appears easier to deal with. One might say, "I'll just make a decision and deal with the consequences." In reality you by a random car and because you didn't do your homework, you now are dealing with a car that doesn't work. Now the time you are spending dealing with the issue far outweighs the time it would have taken to properly prepare for the purchase. Sometimes a little advice can pull a person to a reasonable decision.

Another great thing you can give a person is clarity. When the most important issue has been raised most will come to their sense and stop being difficult. Most people want to do a good job. When it is clear you should be doing a certain task first. Most sane people will work on that task. Why it this? If you finish the important tasks first you can have fun on more enjoyable tasks.

You may say, "Wait Eliot, I see people slacking off working on the enjoyable tasks all the time." Some people do that and get burned because they didn't finish what was required. They scramble at the last minute to get things done. Believe it or not most people hate to hear I told you so. This will happen if a person is warned and ignores it. 

Be a student first and then a teacher. Doesn't the saying go something like that? Learn and share your insight. Don't berate people because they went down the wrong path. With difficult people you are adding fuel to the fire if you attack them when mistakes are made.

Take a step back and try seek understanding, and go from there. It is extremely easy to overlook a person's intent. Yes, sometime a person will do something bad but the intent was good. Instead of pointing out how much time this will cost the team or the amount of money being wasted, take a couple of minute to step back and think. No need to make the situation worse.